So we've decided to move to Arizona and I am SOOOO excited! We are going to be happy there I can just tell. But my anxiety is creeping in.
I am so stressed about finding a house that Dylan, Jer, DZ, and I can all fit in that we can afford, especially because our credit SUCKS. I am so nervous about housing and money right now.
I am also freaking out because we have a child. I want to have a decent pediatrician lined up, along with a decent preschool. How do you know this stuff if you don't even live in the state? One thing is for certain, and that is that my son LOVES school, and even though he's only (almost) 4, part-time isn't cutting it. I need to find a good full-time preschool for him to go to.
I'm not so worried about the other stuff. Dylan and I can find doctors and dentists and stuff when we get there. But a good doctor and school for DZ are a must. And housing. I'm terrified that we're going to make this move and have no resources and be left high and dry while I investigate our various decisions.
I wish I could jump into this move whole-heartedly but I just can't. There's too many unanswered questions. I need to make sure certain things are lined up before we just go. A part of me, admittedly a big part, wants to just jump and in hope for the best. Just keep swimming and all that... But that's not in my nature. I get too anxious and I need to figure some things out first.
So next up is a trip out to Phoenix, so I can do my "research". I need to see where I'm headed. I have no doubt that I'll love it. But it's so hard to jump in with both feet when you're 2500 miles away from home. Dramatic, maybe. But that's me.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Arizona....and snow
well, we're in the midst of a blizzard here in Connecticut. My first thought since we're moving away from this weather-fiasco, SHOULD be, yay! No more snow! But it's not. I'm feeling conflicted, because I really do like the snow. I just hate everything that goes with it.
So I'm trying to find somewhere in Arizona where it snows occasionally. Flagstaff gets snow. But it's pricey. Unfortunately I don't understand the whole cost of living/conversion-ness between CT and AZ. Flagstaff might be quite comparable to CT, who knows?
I LOVE SNOW. I love almost everything about it. I love the beauty it creates on an otherwise hideous scenery. I love the serenity of it. I love the quiet it creates (except for an occasional car accident you'll hear). Time seems to stop when it snows, be it a few minutes, a few hours, or occasionally a day or two. It almost has a magical quality to it. It's beautiful, it's peaceful, it's happy. Of course, this feeling usually only lasts as long as it's falling. Then it's back to nasty ol' winter, with dirty snow on the ground that won't thaw and chilling cold winds.
So my new mission is to find somewhere in AZ where it snows sometimes, yet the average temp is still 70. And near some sort of water. I know there's no oceans or beaches in Arizona, but maybe something comperable? I'll find it and that's where I'll be happy :)
So I'm trying to find somewhere in Arizona where it snows occasionally. Flagstaff gets snow. But it's pricey. Unfortunately I don't understand the whole cost of living/conversion-ness between CT and AZ. Flagstaff might be quite comparable to CT, who knows?
I LOVE SNOW. I love almost everything about it. I love the beauty it creates on an otherwise hideous scenery. I love the serenity of it. I love the quiet it creates (except for an occasional car accident you'll hear). Time seems to stop when it snows, be it a few minutes, a few hours, or occasionally a day or two. It almost has a magical quality to it. It's beautiful, it's peaceful, it's happy. Of course, this feeling usually only lasts as long as it's falling. Then it's back to nasty ol' winter, with dirty snow on the ground that won't thaw and chilling cold winds.
So my new mission is to find somewhere in AZ where it snows sometimes, yet the average temp is still 70. And near some sort of water. I know there's no oceans or beaches in Arizona, but maybe something comperable? I'll find it and that's where I'll be happy :)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
a fresh perspective on life
Since deciding to move across the country, far away from friends and family, work obligations, social stigmas, I've gained a new lease on life. One that allows me to decide who I want to be from here on out.
And who do I want to be actually? A person who is dedicated to her family. A person who can make decisions that best fits her family. A person who feels unrestained from any preconceived notions about who I am. Because I AM only 30, and yeah, that's kinda old in some books. In other books, it's pretty young. To me, it means I've learned enough about myself and gained enough perspective on life to figure myself out. I've always hated winter. It's dark, it's grey, it's freaking freezing. Winter, in my eyes, is good for the best snowfall (yes, it IS beautiful!) and Christmas and New Years and all the Basch birthdays (my son's included). But it's a miserable time of year. It's depressing. In my eyes, scenery and weather has much to do with how I interpret life around me.
So we are starting a new chapter, one that Dylan and I are both very excited about. Arizona. I'm doing as much research as possible before the move. But we still won't have all the answers. We don't REALLY know what it's like to live in Arizona, because we haven't actually lived there before. And you know what? I'm ok with that. More than ok. Besides getting married and having kids, this is the one big decision that we've made, and we made it without much discussion beforehand since we were both already thinking it. And honestly, it's the biggest one in my mind. Dylan and I getting married and having kids, between the stars and our hearts that was decided over a decade ago. This is a huge change for us, and one that we both can see only happiness.
Yes we'll miss everyone. You can't live in Connecticut your entire life and not have issues with leaving all your friends and family behind. It makes it REALLY hard. But how would you like your life to play out...living in CT and not exploring options that you honestly believe would make you better or happier? Family and friends will be VERY VERY hard to leave. But as a family, we need to see what else is out there.
So, it's Arizona. I hear wonderful things about Arizona. Yeah there's the heat and the desert and all that. We're willing to deal with that. I much prefer the heat to any temperature below 70 degrees.
What will I miss? Obiviously friends and family, as stated above. Besides that, the ocean, the beach. I love the beach. I live for the few months out of the year when you can actually go. I love collecting shells and laying on the sand and building sandcastles and occasionally crawling into the icy water. My son said it best when he said "I'm a beach boy, Mama". We love the beach. But in CT, you get 3 good beach months, and 9 months of cold. I will miss the leaves changing. I will miss all the trees and the woods. I will miss snow at Christmas time, when you get it. These things, I don't think, outweigh the positives we can see in Arizona. At least that what I'm hoping.
I want to live somewhere that's warm almost all the time, where the temperature doesn't regularly drop below 70. Somewhere where people are nice, and relaxed. Somewhere where, if I move out there and find a job bartending or waitressing, the first thought that comes into my head isn't "Omg why won't this guy order already? It's so busy" but "hey, this is a nice person to talk to" and "I'm not a psychotic New England bitch and can stop and talk to someone and enjoy myself".
I think we'll love it. And if we don't? We'll come back. Or go somewhere else. But I think it's pretty awesome that we're willing to try
And who do I want to be actually? A person who is dedicated to her family. A person who can make decisions that best fits her family. A person who feels unrestained from any preconceived notions about who I am. Because I AM only 30, and yeah, that's kinda old in some books. In other books, it's pretty young. To me, it means I've learned enough about myself and gained enough perspective on life to figure myself out. I've always hated winter. It's dark, it's grey, it's freaking freezing. Winter, in my eyes, is good for the best snowfall (yes, it IS beautiful!) and Christmas and New Years and all the Basch birthdays (my son's included). But it's a miserable time of year. It's depressing. In my eyes, scenery and weather has much to do with how I interpret life around me.
So we are starting a new chapter, one that Dylan and I are both very excited about. Arizona. I'm doing as much research as possible before the move. But we still won't have all the answers. We don't REALLY know what it's like to live in Arizona, because we haven't actually lived there before. And you know what? I'm ok with that. More than ok. Besides getting married and having kids, this is the one big decision that we've made, and we made it without much discussion beforehand since we were both already thinking it. And honestly, it's the biggest one in my mind. Dylan and I getting married and having kids, between the stars and our hearts that was decided over a decade ago. This is a huge change for us, and one that we both can see only happiness.
Yes we'll miss everyone. You can't live in Connecticut your entire life and not have issues with leaving all your friends and family behind. It makes it REALLY hard. But how would you like your life to play out...living in CT and not exploring options that you honestly believe would make you better or happier? Family and friends will be VERY VERY hard to leave. But as a family, we need to see what else is out there.
So, it's Arizona. I hear wonderful things about Arizona. Yeah there's the heat and the desert and all that. We're willing to deal with that. I much prefer the heat to any temperature below 70 degrees.
What will I miss? Obiviously friends and family, as stated above. Besides that, the ocean, the beach. I love the beach. I live for the few months out of the year when you can actually go. I love collecting shells and laying on the sand and building sandcastles and occasionally crawling into the icy water. My son said it best when he said "I'm a beach boy, Mama". We love the beach. But in CT, you get 3 good beach months, and 9 months of cold. I will miss the leaves changing. I will miss all the trees and the woods. I will miss snow at Christmas time, when you get it. These things, I don't think, outweigh the positives we can see in Arizona. At least that what I'm hoping.
I want to live somewhere that's warm almost all the time, where the temperature doesn't regularly drop below 70. Somewhere where people are nice, and relaxed. Somewhere where, if I move out there and find a job bartending or waitressing, the first thought that comes into my head isn't "Omg why won't this guy order already? It's so busy" but "hey, this is a nice person to talk to" and "I'm not a psychotic New England bitch and can stop and talk to someone and enjoy myself".
I think we'll love it. And if we don't? We'll come back. Or go somewhere else. But I think it's pretty awesome that we're willing to try
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