Happy and sad

There is much happy in my life right now. I have the most wonderful husband ever, and the most beautiful, intellegent, happiest child ever. I have a decent (yet stressful) job that pays well and adjusts to my schedule. We can, for the most part, pay our bills. The husband just got a new job, I've been searching, the boy is starting school, things are looking up. But at the same time, 4 weeks ago, when my husband lost his job, we also lost all our security. We lost $2,000 a month, our health insurance, our stability of a normal work schedule and life. In a flash, all our stability was gone. We still had my income, but my job comes with a price: physical and emotional stress. My body is not cut out to be a waitress, and picking up extra hours is very difficult for me. But...it pays good. What's a girl to do?
    What is sad to me right now is how close we could've come to losing everything. One salary will not pay our rent, bills, car payment and insurance, let alone our rx's and health insurarnce...there's just no fn way. My son has yet to go to the dentist because we don't have coverage. I have 2 teeth that I am almost positve I need pulled. I need glasses. I need to go to a sleep clinic. Dylan is on anti-seizure meds we can't afford. It's a mess. How can we have a health care plan in the works yet 2 working adults have a hard time getting decent coverage? Or coverage at all? Luckily from Dylan's work business aka "Xtramart shit on Dylan because he actually worked and tried to fix problems and we don't like to be questioned" we have practically NO coverage. Out of the blue. Let's leave a family of 3 with 2 adults on meds and a 3 year old without insurace. We're not on anything super important, me an antidepressant and something to deal with my sleep issue and my acid reflux, him something for his seizure disorder and anxiety. We won't die without them. But life will be much harder. And all these changes, including a $10-15 grand a year pay cut, is because his company decided he "needed a break".
   What does it take to get some REAL freaking stability in life?? Apparently not working your ass off for the same company for years and years and practically selling your soul to them and letting your family and emotional and physical health suffer for it.
    Play the system? Like everyone else? This new pay cut actually leaves us better off, as far as the US government goes. From 2 adults each pulling in about $500 a week each to around $700, we now qualify for Husky insurance, along with a slew of  benefits from being in a lower tax bracket. I'm not knocking people in a lower tax bracket. But why is it that when we WORK OUR ASSES OFF to try to make things better, by taking 2 steps BACK we are actually benefitting and can actually have time to spend together as a family? There is something wrong with that!
  So anyways what's really bothering me is that I know so many people are so much worse off. People that are trying so hard, people that have no opportunities. People with criminal records trying to turn their lives around. Single parents doing all they can. But here's where it gets tricky: are these people doing what they can to make their lives better or are they actually making it worse? Is the system working or is it making it easier for people to slack? Because I'll tell you, after working our asses off for years and years and not getting anywhere but treading water, I am ready to step back and be a freaking slacker. If it means I can spend time with my family, why the hell not? If people on unemployment or receiving state aid can do whatever the hell they want on a saturday night, why can't I? I have certainly paid my dues in taxes. I have basically worked every possible time that I've been able to. My marriage, my relationships with family and friends, my health, it's all suffered. Why? Because I have enough dignity and self-respect and a sense of responsibility to actually try to pay for my own possessions and bills and my child? I'm tired of letting my life suffer because I am responsible and people around me think it's ok to live off the state and collect unemployment when they are completely able to work. Do you think I want to be doing what I'm doing? HELL NO. But I'm not going to let the taxpayers of CT pay for my bills. That is MY responsibility. And I'm tired of paying other's peoples way. GET OFF YOUR ASSES AMERICA AND GET A FUCKING JOB.